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Wednesday 26 March 2014

When I asked my mom 'why she let me go?'

It is strange how sometimes we want something so bad, and days later, the same thing appears like something we could have done without. Stranger is the yearning for something that you thought you wanted to escape. It is a vicious circle. What you desired, you don't want and what you once didn't, you now want
Sometimes, we fit the pieces of our life's puzzle incorrectly, but when we realise that the puzzle we put together looks rather, imperfect, it hurts. May be, because you always thought you would get it right. Or may be, because you invested a lot of energy into putting it together. Either ways, the end result could let you down.

I'd be honest, leaving my home city was the toughest decision I ever took. After years of cleaning other people's' stories and punctuating their lines to read like grammar dished out of Wren and Martin's rule book, I thought it was time I concentrated on my own story. I hoped that the grammar rules I learnt over the years, could nullify the impact of this bumpy ride. But neither did the commas, nor full stops help. All I have now are exclamation and question marks.

I threw one such question to my mom recently. I asked her “why she let me go?”
Her smile suggested that she knew the answer even before I had posed the question. “How else would you know that the pieces of your puzzle were fit incorrectly. It looked so perfect from where you saw it.”

1 comment:

Edlyn said...

Jane, you'll learn so much more in the process. I hope you're focusing on the positives. Sure, you don't have the comfort of family or familiar surroundings but this change isn't a bad thing. It's so natural to want it. I hope you're giving it all a good chance. It's hard but always possible.