An Unbearable Loss

Five years have passed,

A long one I thought,

All our good days amassed,

And the bad ones forgot.

But now I walk alone in this tide,

Remembering days, all of yore,

There is so much to talk, but now I hide,

Only wishing the harmony like before.

We fought, but soon made peace,

Our egos unconvinced by the anger of our souls,

We loved, and how each other we teased,

Despite being two unlikely poles.

And now as I drift between being happy and sad, 

I am both aghast and fearful of this resolve,

to distance you from me, though its bad,

It's so hard that sometimes I still wait for your call.

They saw us and joked,

We are almost like lovers, they said,

And you too often poked,

I secretly wish for it in my head.

How now, it came to this,

Others know of us more than we do of each other,

They share with us our bliss,

Our bond, now seems lighter than a feather.

I am happy for you,

And I know you feel the same for me,

But clouds have covered this blue hue,

And nothing feels like it used to be.

Our weakness' have become the others' argument,

To shield from any blame, 

We need now only to defend,

To shift from being the wrong one in this game.

It's funny if I'd say it doesn't hurt,

And how I wish for it all to be the same,

I tried to teach you a lesson, and turned hostile and curt,

Sometimes I really find it to be lame.

My selfishness has taken position,

and I am only protecting myself of future pain,

But often I still get a vision,

That you are with me and we are no longer insane.