What India....what PRIDE?

There i go again...i say something i barely expect you to understand. My INDIA...my pride, it is a fruitless attempt of making me feel Indian everytime.

My pride stems from the most improbable feat....
Yipee!India won the 20-20 world cup,
Horrible!! they treat my India like a piece of junk abroad, OR
Gosh!!!my fellow Indian was victim to racial slurs; she was called an 'Indian' in a popular game show.

Sometimes, me and my Indianess force me to protest...I run down the closest street and amidst media glare; burst crackers or bombs, or burn or hail effigies of the most likely brain diggers who re-ignited that indianess in me (Be it team-Australia, be it Jade Goody, or be it Dhoni's Team India or Indian doctor Haneef)

Particpating in media activism...I send spades of smses to the money making media, believing that my Yes or No sms would make an impact on my countries pride (which is highly unlikely).
I dont mind sitting home and sending a Rs.6 sms to add a 0.00001 difference to the media polls early next morning. ....but yes i am still making that small difference...so i heed no answers to anybody.
I wish to stand behind the reporter who talks passionately infront of the camera speaking about the hue and cry i make when my fellow Indian is disturbed abroad. I signal from behind waving a hand to the camera...or looking at it in the eye...just to show that i exist...(I am whole, i am Indian..look at me...i have a voice...listen to me).
I speak to the journalist on the channels mike saying "I am unhappy with the treatment meted out to them....this is unfair and i am ready to kill."

I believe my opinion will make a difference...my voice will ring an alarming cry and people will realise the consequence of hurting an Indian's pride.

Now i am satisfied, i have retained my pride, i come back home and lie back. I am now Indian...no one can crush my unfathomable pride.

Unasbashed i go gaga over how my dear bhai-behen, ma-beti, baap-daada are treated
outside the country...But i forget....they kill my pride everyday. My Indianess is shaken every minute. Another fellow Indian is stripping my ego every second.

Is there nothing to fathom...when 14 men molest a women on a new years night, when mind-boggling statistics reveal that a woman is being raped every 30 minutes in a safe metro like Mumbai OR when Dalit women are being stripped for the lowliness of their caste (just do a google search and i wont be surprised if you were shocked) and paraded throughout the village naked in the eyes of thier sons/fathers/husbands.

Where is my glory then....when man kills man in the name of religion, when a muslim faces the wrath of marrying a rich Marwari Hindu somewhere in Kolkatta or when the west of my country triumphs in the name of communalism wherein people harp on the development by Narendra Modi and forget the thousands of innocent victims of the Godhra riots in 2002.

Isn't my vanity crushed when the youth speak of politics 'as shit' and a game of blood suckers (poli=many and tics=bloodsuckers) and blatantly refuse to be a part of it. I fear then...about my tomorrow...because i know not who would wish to lead.

I douse in my bhaartiya sanskriti...but these values and principles are only left in a lurch...when the young fag and booze endlessly and engage is promescuity, strongly asserting that their 'life' is nobodies business and your questioning is a criminal act of forbearance.

The youth believe its cool to release the burden of being a Virgin (which they can't hold far too long)....today, they would rather prefer too many name plates on their unvirgin card than gamble their lives for the nation at war or politics.

I then loose my stem of strength because i fail to comprehend to their lives and see it a self-mockery of my prolonged absitnence from this all.....

I then begin to dread being in the country of Naxals, and the LTTEs, i fear death in the name of fundamentalism when the SIMIs or equivalent of the Al- Qaida's glorify the radical nature of their religion and spread terror....
I then begin to loath on the 'Hindutava' that politicians keep talkin about without realising its impact on the innocent minority, which is a complete enslavement and vindication of their rights.....

If I force my insight further...i know i am nested in false pride from which i dont know if i would ever rise.....WHAT PRIDE then....Which INDIA then??